WOMAN TO WOMAN

By:  Denise Fernald

Sometimes marriage can seem like stale bread. Dry, tasteless, crusty, and even moldy. I was having some of these thoughts, when my friend came by to see me. She was complaining of her husband and wishing that she had a better marriage. As I explained some things to her, I realized that I had preached myself happy. So, I’d like to share a little of what I told her.

The first problem that we had to dispel was: “I don’t know how much more of this I can take”.

I asked her “If Jesus were to come tomorrow, would you be able to hang on until He came?”

Of course she answered, “Yes”.

I mentioned that Jesus was going to be looking for Faith when He comes. Would He find her ‘faithful’? (Luke 18:8).

I asked “If Jesus were to come next week, could you hold on until then?”

She answered, “Yes, I guess I could.”

Knowing that Jesus is going to be looking for faith— If He comes next year, will He find you faithful? Faithfulness to your husband is faithfulness unto Jesus. If you have no other reason for being faithful—Do it as unto Jesus, and He will give you the strength you need to hold on.

If you were in a real-life battle, with real bullets flying, what would you do? Would you hide behind your husband in a ditch or behind a big wall? He would protect you from the battle. That is his role— to protect his wife. The battle that we are in is real. The bullets that are flying may not be from a gun, but they are just as deadly. If you realize that the man is the spiritual covering for the wife, you will appreciate his role—and his different abilities.

The second problem was: “I put up a wall ‘emotionally’ because I’ve been hurt by him before. It’s ruining our intimacy.”

My answer was this, “Sometimes when an animal has a wound, the veterinarian comes to visit. He sees that the wound is crusted over and that there is infection under the scab that has formed. Parts of it are tough and granulated. It is called “Proud Flesh”. In that same way, our hurts have been covered up with a tough covering. But the infection—the problem—is still seething underneath. The vet then cauterizes it with chemical or heat to open the area to the air to be healed. When the truth is applied like a searing iron to that deep hurt, it becomes raw again.

It really hurts to open up the wound, but it’s a necessary part of healing. Can you bring out the problem and share it with your husband? Can you open yourself up to hurt a little while, so that the infection can heal?

Even if you can’t talk it over with your husband, you can talk it over with God. He is the healer of broken hearts. He is the restorer of marriages.

If you look to your husband as unto Jesus, you may open yourself up to being hurt by a human man, but the Comforter will see the intent of your heart and begin the healing process. Honor your husband—begin in small ways. Respect means no belittling remarks, either to him or others. It takes a strength and resoluteness to make the choice to honor our mate.

There are many strong women in the Bible just as there are strong women today. We are in a unique position to show our children how to be Godly women. How will they respect the word of God, when we carelessly disregard respect and honor. Our strength comes from being Godly. My favorite scripture is:

is great gain”. (1 Timothy 6:6)

Peacefulness and contentment is something that comes only from your relationship with God. Do it God’s way and you will be strong.

Faithfulness can become drudgery and drudgery tends to deplete our strength. Therefore it’s very important to cultivate the ‘JOY OF THE LORD in the midst of the journey. Remember, the joy of the Lord is our strength. Thinking about the rewards of faithfulness will help produce the joy you need to make it through.

Step forth knowing that you are right in the center of God’s will for your life when you love your husband. To reach the goal, shake off the heaviness and go forward. Choose to sing when you’re down. Replace regrets with rejoicing.

(2 Timothy 4:7-8)

Now, the best thing you can do is to help others who are in the same position you are in. Women everywhere need to be encouraged.

When we share the things that have made us strong and able to stand, we just get stronger. The “sharing” makes them strong and honors God.

Comfort others with the same kind of comfort that Jesus has given you and that comfort will come back to you again and again.

Even if your husband is weak and failing, he can never take the strength of good character from you. That’s yours! That’s what Jesus is looking for, so rejoice in that accomplishment.

Jesus is looking for faithfulness.