Anyone who works with words cannot work with just consonants or just vowels. We must have both. But, every vowel must produce a different sound and every consonant must play a different role than all the rest.

You don’t have to be like someone else to find your place of importance. Diversity and individuality are the spice of life.

But, he who never looks will never find. He who never struggles will never achieve.

A craving for approval sometimes keeps people from expressing their true selves. It locks them into a rut of conformity and mediocrity. They will never go beyond that which their teacher approves. If her only song is "Amazing Grace" how will they ever come up with "Handel’s Messiah"?

Fear can also cheat a person out of fulfilling an inner challenge. Fear paralyzes the soul.

Be bold. Dare to step out and experiment with life. Just because it has never been done before doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be done. Columbus dared to be different. Edison loved to experiment. People who make a difference often do things differently.

than you are right now.

You were designed to be different. You may not have discovered your true value. But, that doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

Have you ever tried to put a piece of a jigsaw puzzle in the wrong slot? Have you ever forced it to fit? Your momma may have wanted you to be a beauty queen. Your daddy may have tried desperately to get you to take up his profession. Your boss may be stifling your creativity because he wants consistency and order. People and circumstances may have forced you to be where you are, but is that really where you should be?

What do you really like to do in life? Maybe you can pursue it as a hobby or do it on a part time basis until you find a way to make a living at it.

Yesterday, I tallied up all the different kinds of jobs I have had. There were over forty of them. I went from one thing to another and never did feel connected to any particular career. In 1971, I started writing sentimental poetry on restaurant napkins. I wrote for several years and seldom showed my stuff to anyone. Then, I had an opportunity to go to Junior college. I took a creative writing course and a class in Journalism. I had a poem printed in a college anthology of poetry. I won a writing contest. I wrote for the college paper. My confidence and abilities began to grow. Finally, I saw a need and began to fill it. I started publishing The Prison Journal for prisoners. I knew they would be hungry for reading material and wouldn’t be critical of my stuff. I got my start and kept going. Who knows where it will all end. But, I think I’ve found my little niche in life. I love to communicate. I love to exert a positive influence upon people’s thinking processes.

I don’t like machines. If it doesn’t live, move and breathe it’s out of my realm. I’m a people person. My wife is a rancher at heart. I’m not. She works on VCR’s and I don’t even want to understand those things. My son is a mechanic. He works with machinery and loves to hunt and fish. I don’t do any of that stuff. Do I have to be like them? Do they have to be like me?

Life has a way of slapping vowels and consonants together. Opposites attract for a reason. There is a purpose to such a mixture in marriages and other relationships. People are meant to be different. The "K" and the "H" may be similar in ways - but they each have their own unique sounds. They have their own personality.

Our human nature often wants others to conform to our ways and preferences. But, that’s not always the way things should be. We need to make room for exceptions. We need to develop tolerance for those who can’t conform to our wishes. We need to blend in with differences which we can’t control.

We need to accept people we can’t change. We need to use our talents to enhance someone else’s position and purpose in life. We need to accept the gifting of another to make up for the lack in ourselves. The ‘ball’ and the ‘socket’ have found a way to complement each other in a perfect union of togetherness and different-ness!

Have you ever wanted to ‘change someone’ to fit your idea of what is good and right for them? Has anyone ever tried to change you?

We want others to be more like us so that we can have something in common; so that we can be comfortable around them.

Married people sometimes try to bend their mate’s nature to fit their own preferences. How many jokes have you heard about women who drag their husbands to the opera? How about to the mall on a shopping trip?

Are we really supposed to be just like everyone else around us? If that’s true, then should we all be ‘passive’ or should we all be ‘aggressive’? Should we all like ‘olives’ or ‘avocados’? Does anyone love oatmeal? Does anyone hate oatmeal? How about liver?

Somewhere in all of this there is a balance. We learn to give and take - adjust and adapt. Compromise sometimes seems like a dirty word and yet at other times it is the only way to peace. For instance:

Consider The ill-advised marriage of "P" and "H" !

Once upon a time ONE "P" fell madly in love with ONE "H" and insisted on sticking together for life. Well, as one Powerful "Pa" Personality, "P" insisted that the family be called "P"ONE. He wanted "H" to be ONE WITH HIM!

But, "H" had her own High ideals and Honey personality. She didn’t think it was right for her to give up her right to be herself. She had just as much right to her own opinions and desires as he did. She insisted on being called the "H"ONE family.

Now, everyone knows the Pones and the Hones were strong individuals. They came from a long line of ‘Puh’ sounds and "Huh" sounds. Stubbornness demanded that they be called ‘The PUHONE Family’. That way, the "P" and the "H" could assert their own individuality and yet arrive at a sense of equality between them.

To this day, people are answering pahones all over the world. In the middle of the night you can hear someone say, "Honey, would you get the PUHONE please?"

You and I know that’s not what happened. In this case, both married partners gave up their right to be what they had always been. Love compelled them to blend their natures into one compatible mixture of two consonants. The HONE in-laws and the PONE in-laws were all disappointed.

Genealogies were changing. History was being formed. FONES were here to stay. Of course, out of a decent respect for the ancestors, someone insisted that the FONES should still be spelled with a "P" and an "H". But - no matter how it’s spelled - a phone is a fone and can be a real blessing or an absolute nuisance.

In this silly illustration, we discover the need to relinquish some of our own uniqueness for the sake of others. We die to a part of our own personality out of a love and consideration for someone else. As we give up a measure of our own tastes and preferences, the flavor of someone else’s strengths and gifts are added to us. We are not losers. We are becoming something more than we once were. The blending of personalities often creates a new personality. Even if you can’t be your old self, because of someone else, the new and improved YOU can be an asset.

So what have I said? In some instances we need to break loose from our moorings and discover our real selves. In other cases, we need to give up a part of our individuality for the sake of a compatible marriage or group harmony.

Don’t ruin a marriage just so you can be free to do what you like. Instead, learn to develop your full potential in spite of limitations and restrictions. Develop a creative and peaceful way to express yourself and yet live for others.

Don’t be a renegade and rebel, just because you don’t like to take orders and can’t stand to work for a living. You don’t have to grow long hair and wear a ring in your ear to be yourself. Would you ever do that if no one else was doing it? If not, then that’s not really the way to express yourself. You are still not being you or uncovering your true uniqueness. You’re still trying to be like someone else. You are forsaking your individuality for the sake of peer pressure. There might be a better way to be productive in society and still be fulfilled as an individual. On the other hand, the rest of society may need to tolerate the various phases of your search for your own identity. I’ve been through dozens of phases which weren’t permanent. I can allow others to do the same.

You are the only one who knows what this message means to you.

Analyze yourself.

Look for the answers. Find what your really need and be what you really want to be.

Look outside of yourself. Ask questions. Get counsel. Ask for help. Keep searching. Reach for improvements where you are. Those improvements may lead to opportunities which you can’t see right now.