At some point in my speech, I looked directly at her and yet spoke to the entire audience, saying something like this:

"If you have ever asked God for the perfect husband you have set your sights too high. Your expectations are out of line.

Why should He give you THE PERFECT HUSBAND when He can’t give him THE PERFECT WIFE?"

I pointed out the fact that we all have flaws, imperfections and weaknesses. Therefore it is unreasonable not to expect some of the same in others.

Since each one of us enters a marriage relationship with our own set of liabilities, we ought to be patient and forbearing concerning any lack or deficiency in our mates. In so doing, our own character is being strengthened and made complete.

A greater degree of happiness can be ours if our ideas of happiness are not wrapped up in expectations of perfection.

In the process of adjusting, adapting and being tolerant, our own love will grow and thrive. Every negative reaction to imperfection actually causes love to shrivel up and die. Daily choices determine the direction of our life and relationships – and direction determines destiny.

I spoke to an entire crowd, the night of that banquet, but a bulls-eye had been tattooed on my heart and my own words had 'hit the mark'.

Even if no one else remembers what I spoke about that night – I do. Those words created some attitude adjustments in my own life.

Sure, I was speaking to a lot of ‘singles’ that night, but I know that many married couples need to be reminded of these things. It's something that everyone needs to be reminded of once in a while.

Kids need to know that God never intended to give them perfect parents, because he wasn't going to give them perfect kids.

Together,families will have to learn "The Seven Best Ways to Live with Imperfection".

THE PERFECT SPLIT

Just a while back, I sat talking with a troubled husband. He was absolutely disappointed in his wife. After the marriage, she had picked up extra baggage and began to manifest flaws he had never seen before. She just wasn't the woman he married.

But, she has also been disappointed in him. For years they have picked and nagged and fought with each other. A melancholy sadness came over him and I saw a man who had a dry face and tears in his heart. I was sure the tears would flow later when I wasn't around. The last words I remember hearing from him were: "Things were bad enough before, but since she read a book on THE PERFECT HUSBAND things have been getting worse." I'm sure the author of that book meant well and probably did a lot of good for other people... but he sure didn't win any points with this guy.

Another person discussed her problems with me. She was in her third marriage. She spent seven years wishing her first husband was different. He had no drive or ambition.

She divorced him and married a man who was a workaholic! He was never home to give her any time or attention.

She spent twelve years craving her husband’s attention before she divorced him. She then married a man who worked out of his home. The guy wanted to lavish all his attention on her – 24 hours a day.

She couldn’t take that either, but through these experiences she realized "There is no perfect situation or husband."

She could have ran off again, trying to find the elusive dream, but she didn’t. She’s now ‘old enough to know better’. She is learning to compromise and work things out with her present husband.

In this present age, thousands of people treat their marriages like their jobs. They quit the ones they don’t like and go out to find another.

When employers look at a person’s job history, many of them exclaim, "Boy, you sure can’t keep a job, can you?"

They are reluctant to put their faith and trust in an unstable person.

I’ll never forget the woman who came to me for advice about marrying a certain man. At the tail end of everything – she grudgingly gave out the information that he had already been married FOUR TIMES!

Why didn’t she want to tell me that? Because he had so many other good traits. Because she liked him. Because she was tired of living alone. Because she wanted some financial security. Because she wanted love, romance and all that goes with it. Because she didn’t want me to discourage her from going in the direction she had already chosen for herself. She had convinced herself that it would be okay. But, this quote says it all.

This lady wanted someone else to agree with her – so her inner arguments against this move would not over-rule her other strong desires.

She married him. And, you guessed it – the man is now looking for wife number six.

If you are wanting reasons to break your family apart – I’m not the man you want to see.

Don’t run away looking for answers somewhere else. With every answer there are six more problems, eight more heartaches and a barrel of frustration and pain.

If your spouse always fulfills your silent expectations, then you are blessed. But, the average person, male or female, has to live with many shattered expectations from day to day. Such disappointments often lead to resentment. Resentment is a low-grade anger which eats away at what little bit of peace and contentment we do have.

One of the keys to happiness is to learn the ways of minimizing disappointments. It is possible to develop mental skills which will help us hurdle those emotional bogs without getting mired in them.

Learn to develop a positive response to every disappointment. This is a key to happiness.

THE BOOMERANG PRINCIPLE

The "boomerang principle" is just as sure and permanent as the law of gravity. What we measure out comes back to us in one form or another.

It works for anger and harsh words as well as gentleness and love. It works for accusation and condemnation just as it does for forgiveness and mercy. It works with bitterness and hatred just as it does with love and tolerance.

LOVE ON DEMAND?

Marriage and romance are sometimes like dry-land-farming.

The farmer tries his best to time his planting with the expected seasonal rains. But, nature sometimes comes on too strong and too soon, and the farmer’s seed isn’t ready yet.

At other times the farmer waits and waits and waits for the rain while his crop shrivels and dies.

Rain is important to a farmer who is married to the land. But rain is as unpredictable as the ebb and flow of human emotions.

Whether it is too much, too soon, or too little and too late...the farmer has to take what he can get and make the most of it. And so do we!

We all need to be loved and appreciated, but when others can’t meet your needs, let God be your source of life, love and strength.

Is it possible that God wants to build in you the sterling qualities of patience, endurance, perseverance and courage?

Could He possibly want you to practice the art of forgiveness, continued forgiveness and eternal forgiveness?

IMMEASURABLY BLESSED!