WHEN MY three-year-old son opened a birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not pleased at all. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"

Mom smiled slyly and replied . . . "I remember."

Children brighten up a home:

They always forget to turn out the lights!

Every morning for years the telephone operator in a small Sierra-Nevada town received a call from a man asking the exact time. One day the operator summoned up nerve enough to ask him why the regularity.

"I'm foreman of the local sawmill," he explained. "Every day I have to blow the whistle at noon so I call you to get the exact time."

The operator giggled, "That's really funny," she said. "All this time we've been setting our clock by your whistle.

TV commentator Mike Wallace was once interviewing a woman on a quiz show. "What would you do," he asked her, "if you found a million dollars in cash lying on the sidewalk?"

The woman pondered the question for a moment, then answered, "Well, if it belonged to a poor family, I'd return it!"

A fellow told me he had been going to “hang glider” school for three months.
I asked, “How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?”
His simple answer was: “All of them.”

-HOME-

The place where we are treated best and grumble most.

Have you heard the story about the driver who put a note under the windshield wiper of a parked car? The note read, “I have just smashed into your car. The people who saw the accident are watching me. They think I’m writing down my name and address. I’m not.”