I have no excuse, you know!

When I was born, I knew I was going to die. Well, maybe I didn’t know it then, but it was still a certainty, whether I knew it or not.

Don’t panic! We’re not going into a morbid tunnel of darkness. Death doesn’t have to be morbid. It’s just a process of change. As a fetus leaves it’s little world of confinement to enter into a vast world of new wonders—even so, we must leave the small body in which we are imprisoned. Then, we enter into something greater than we have ever known. What’s so morbid about that?

I’m going to talk to you about the practical acceptance of death and how to develop wise reactions to fact.

What will happen to Ministries of Mercy when I am gone? It will probably dissolve and all the equipment will be given to a charitable organization.

Mail will come to Box 600 and somebody will send a note, saying, “M.O.M. is NO MORE!” Maybe they won’t even answer the mail. Maybe they’ll just let people wonder why they don’t get an answer.

It makes no difference. I wasn’t in control of this world before 1943, and I’m not going to fret about what’s going to happen after I die.

The suit that I can’t bear to part with now, will probably be stuffed in a ’goodwill bag’. Someone will probably burn my unpublished writings. So what?

Years ago I planned to be ready to die by the time I was fifty. I was put here for a purpose and decided to fulfill that purpose as soon as I possibly could.

I was also placed in the ‘furnace of the earth’ to bring about a change and transformation in my character. Life’s testing processes immediately revealed weaknesses in my nature. Initial temptations saw me bowing down to sin and pleasure. I wasn’t ready for death or fit for God’s Kingdom. Not even as a saved - religious person.

When I reached the bottom of the barrel, I came to the end of myself. I wanted to give up and die.

That’s when God seemed to say, “If you want to die so bad, why don’t you just do it. Just die. But, do it like the caterpillar does. Go, crawl into a cocoon of your own making. Surrender. Give up. Accept the dark confinement of the religious perimeters you have been resisting. And then hope that I can do for you what you could never do for yourself—change you and give you a new life.

Some people talk about ‘saying a sinner’s prayer’ and being miraculously saved’, but that wasn’t all there was to it, for me. That was just the beginning of surrender. That was just the beginning of struggle and misery. I made myself miserable because I didn’t want to do the right things.

I knew I would have to give it all up when I died. When our spirit leaves our body, it’s not going to reach for a cigarette or crave a bottle of booze. Sex and drugs will never be a choice then, without a body.

But, I wanted to hang onto those things as long as I could. I didn’t want to quit stealing and lying. It was all a way of life for me. My life! And I didn’t want to give it up.

I had a choice, I could give it up little by little and be ready to die—or I could wait until I died and then give it all up at once.

I knew there would be many rewards for giving it up ahead of time—by choice.

So, I gave up. I died. I died to all that I wanted out of this life. My ambitions, my hopes, my dreams, and my secret desires. My will cratered and died.

With that kind of dying there came a hope for change and the promise of reward.

Once I went through that process, physical death meant nothing. My life was given back to me, but in a different way.

The butterfly experience became mine. As a caterpillar, I could only climb as high as the highest limb of a tree. As a butterfly, I had new abilities and new horizons. I could fly over those trees. I was no longer a creepy, crawly worm of a man

I’ve continued to die over the years. The caterpillar inside wanted to come alive many times, but, I wouldn’t let him. There’s absolutely no future in being the way I once was. After making it through the big ‘cocoon’ experience, these other surrenders are small potatoes. It doesn’t make any difference. Nothing in this life lasts forever. It’s all temporary. The pain and the pleasures, both. The good times and the bad. The prosperity and the financial binds. None of these things come to stay. They come to test us, to try us, to make us struggle and choose. And I’m stronger for all I’ve been through.

I’m not a ‘super-overcomer’. I don’t get an A+ rating with God. He knows the truth. I don’t have to be the top dog and the leader of the pack. It’s just ‘me and Jesus’ doing our thing. I’m developing Godly character in many areas of my life. I’ll be content with a ‘”C” or a smile of approval. When I turned fifty, I felt like I was ready to die. I was content with the preparations I had made for that hour. And I knew that every day after that was just “God allowing me some bonus fruitfulness”. I was being given extra years of usefulness in His Kingdom.

Dying to Live

Jesus said: “Except a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies - it abides alone.” We know that when a corn seed dies - something happens within and the little kernel becomes a little green plant and then a bigger green plant and then a giant corn stalk with several ears of corn on the stalk. Each ear can have several hundred kernels. That life multiplied itself! How? By being willing to die and lose it’s original form of life.

We will never know what Jesus was talking about if we keep trying to save our old, earthly, fleshly life with all it’s sins and weaknesses.

We will eventually lose our life anyway - but if we lose it later because we have to - there will be no rewards waiting for us. When asked what we did with our lives we will say, “I wasted it on things, things, and more things—on things that I couldn’t bring with me.”

His answer will be, “Oh, I see, you rewarded yourself! That is allowable. But, it is not My fault that you chose rewards that you could not bring with you.”

A kernel of corn that falls off the farm truck on the highway will lose it’s life, but only when 6 cars and 3 trucks crush it into powder and the wind blows it away!

The kernel of corn that lost its life in that way, did not gain the experience of becoming a green plant, a giant stalk with over a thousand more kernels of corn being formed on it.

There is no fruitfulness or value in a kernel of corn that sits on the mantel over the fireplace.

A daily life of ‘dying to self’ is an excellent exercise in preparing for physical death! It’s then that everything that we’ve been living for comes to fruition.

Death is the ‘part of life’ that none of us likes to deal with - but we must all come to grips with the issue - sooner or later—in one way or another!

Somehow, it is part of life’s curriculum. It is automatically included in our learning course. This is what a lot of our other studies revolve around.

We have many classes on ‘How to live a better life now.’ Many of these studies are optional, but there is one ‘required course’ which we can’t opt out of. It is, “How to die.”

People of every age and description are signed up for a new class on “How to Cope with Losing a Loved One”. Thousands of people join that class every day.

Should we be exempt? We can’t skip class just because we don’t like it. We can’t refuse to learn what millions before us have learned.

We may not understand why we have to go through this, but, I never understood why I had to take Algebra, either.

Why are all these learning experiences given to us? I don’t know. I don’t understand. I just accept what is and trust. What must be - must be.

My only question is: “Am I going to flunk out? Or shall I develop the best possible response to the worst possible experience in life?”

As a child I had to eat foods I didn’t like. But, I ate because I was required to eat. I tasted because I was told to try different foods. I experienced new things because someone else was holding the reins in my life.

I had to rebel or comply. And the Lord knows I’ve done a bit of both in my lifetime. I’m sure I’ll chomp at the bit and resist the reins a time or two before I die.

God has not singled out any one of us and cursed us with the death of our loved ones. Who knows why things happen as they do in life? Many of us act as though we are wise and pretend we have the answers - but privately and honestly, the ones who know the most are the ones who freely admit that they know very little.

It all boils down to trust. We must trust in God when we don’t understand. We must trust in God when we don’t have answers. We must trust in the One who lives on forever and ever.

We will not draw back or stumble in unbelief or rear up in rebellion against that which we cannot change. We will finish our course. We will accept what must be. We will ask for those things that can be. We will seek for the changes which are allowed.

We will struggle to show ourselves approved to an all wise God who knows the way that we take.

He is looking down on us in love and compassion. His tender mercies are stirred toward us. He is willing to pick us up, to hold our hand, to encourage us, to comfort us, to instruct and guide us, but, He cannot exempt us from the necessity of being tested.

So, lets take courage. We are allowed to cry. But, we must go on. We don’t have to like it. But, we must go on. Nothing in this life lasts forever. We can make it. We can endure and persevere. It is only for a short time. The bell will soon ring for us. We ourselves will be allowed to leave. But what will that do to those who remain?

They will then be faced with ‘missing us’. They will not understand. They will be tested to see if they can trust - and continue to trust - in God, in spite of everything.

We will not be here for them— that is why we pray for them now. Our prayers can go on being answered, day after day, even though we are gone. Our prayers will become as ‘time delayed capsules’ of blessing for all those we have loved and cared for. God will reveal Himself as the faithful One when we cannot be present to help them.

So, let’s lay up treasures in heaven. Treasures which can be taken and used to bless those who must yet endure many things. Let us trust and Love God until we have finished our course. A crown of righteousness is laid up for those who trust in Him!